HerStories Project

  • A Guest Post and a Free E-Book in Celebration of Friendship

    Stephanie and I have two things to share today that we’re excited about…

    First, in honor of both Valentine’s Day and International Book Giving Day, we’re offering our HerStories Project book for free as an e-book on Amazon for one day, today, Wednesday, February 10. Why not get a free e-book for yourself and buy one for your best friend, your sister, your mom, as a Valentine’s Day surprise? 

    vday

    We’re also proud to share a lovely story that our contributor Rose Townsend of the blog Naturally Educated shared with us about how her participation in the HerStories Project and our community of friends and writers led to an important realization about family and friendship:

    Sometimes I worry about my daughter.  At four, she is already rocking life.  She is creative, funny, determined and has more confidence than I can sometimes muster as an adult.  But there is one thing she doesn’t have.  It is something I have always had.  It is something I could not live without.  My girls.

    My twin cousins, my first two friends, were born six months before I arrived in this world.  One year later, my sister was born, followed by more cousins and eight years later, another sister.   I was set.  All of these lovely ladies lived either in my house or less than a few blocks away.  They were my greatest supporters, my confidants, my shoulders to cry on, my laugh until it hurts kind of friends for as long as I can remember.  They still are.  I even followed my twin cousins to college.  And one sister followed soon after.

    With two brothers and no female cousins nearby, I wonder what my daughter is going to do without these girls.  I wonder, who will stay up all night with her at her first sleepover? Who will be her fellow performers in elaborate song and dance routines?  Who will be driving as she sits in the passenger seat and sings her teenage heart  out?  Who will she call sobbing when she breaks up with her first boyfriend?  Who will sit in the stall next to her in a college dorm as the effects of her first night of drinking are emptied from her stomach.

    Who will tell her she looks great?  Who will tell her not to wear that outfit again?

    Who will she call when the stress of life, motherhood or marriage become too much to bear alone?  Who will tell her she is doing fine?  Who will call her out on her shit?

    Who will encourage her to take risks, to learn new things, to push herself?

    I worry.  Deep female friendships were my fate. What is my daughter’s?

    Some of these worries were eased as I read the essays in the HerStories Project anthology.  These stories of friendship gave me hope.  I learned that sisters are everywhere.  They are in childhood neighborhoods, grade schools, colleges, workplaces, mom’s groups and parks.  They are on the other end of the phone.  They are on the computer screen.  They are everywhere women are.

    Because where there are women, there is empathy and support.  There is safety and acceptance.  There is a place to confess your darkness and a place to share your light.  There is a place for tears of sadness and tears of joy, neither of which are questioned, but instinctively understood.  There is honesty and inspiration.  There is comfort.  The kind of comfort one can only find with sisters.  Not everyone is born with them, but the HerStories Project has made me believe that every woman will find her sisters.

    I already love those beautiful souls who will be my daughter’s future sisters.  I know they are out there, waiting to be her safe place.  They don’t know it yet, but they are going to have the coolest sister around.

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Keep reading

  • Book Club With The HerStories Project

    Earlier this week, our contributor Nina Badzin shared her experiences with finding the perfect book club. As her post states, friendships and book clubs don’t always mix. Just because you enjoy the company of certain friends, neighbors, and co-workers doesn’t mean you’d necessarily click as a book club. The dynamics of a perfect book club have always reminded me of finding the right partner: sure, you may enjoy the same movies or share important values, but do you want the same things out of your relationship?

    The first book club I ever joined at the ripe old age of 22  made me feel terribly grown-up- I mean, I was in a book club! Wasn’t that what real adults did? Getting together with other intelligent adults to passionately and astutely dissect literature sounded right up my alley. After I forced myself to endure the torture of Kafka’s The Trial, I decided to spice things up with a new, out-of-the-box (heh heh) book about feminism. I chose a somewhat controversially titled book by Inga Muscio. To my great surprise and outrage, both the men and the women in the group tore my selection to shreds. The verbal evisceration continued outside the monthly meeting, extending into strongly-worded email exchanges. That was it. I was out.

    My most recent book club fell into the all-too-common trap that Nina alluded to: a bunch of women sitting around talking about their jobs and families and spending perhaps three total minutes talking about the book. Half of the group never read the book, and we too did that awkward dance where we tried to discuss the ending without ruining it for the slackers. “You know… when Martha has her transformation?” we would ask pointedly, raising our eyebrows at fellow book-finishers. “Ohhh, right. I agree- that part was very…pivotal.” Not much of a discussion.

    Even when I’m reading a book by myself, I frequently read through the Discussion Questions at the end. For one, if the book was engaging, I’m often in withdrawal already and am anxious to soak up just a few more pages before saying goodbye and moving on my next selection, which I’m already convinced could never measure up to its predecessor. I also enjoy taking a few minutes to process some of the nuances of the characters or plot, and maybe even apply the storyline to my own life.

    Not surprisingly, we think The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship would make the perfect book club book! We love how the book has inspired women to reflect on their own life experiences and friendships, and what better environment to dig deeper into the power of friendship than a (harmonious, dysfunction-free) book club?

    So to help you avoid falling into the traps I mentioned:
    a) The unfocused rant conversation
    b) The vague, unpleasantly brief, lacks direction discussion

    We’ve come up with some book club discussion questions that we invite you to use when discussing The HerStories Project with your book club! We will give them a permanent home in the menu of our website, but here they are!

    1. Which stories resonated with you the most? Why? Did they remind you of yourself, or of a particular friendship or time in your life?

    2. How long have you known your closest friends? Do you have any of the same friends you’ve had since childhood, high school, or college? When did you meet your current friends?

    3. When you think of your current friendships, how did you meet? Why did you decide to become close friends?

    4. Which qualities are most important to you in a friend? What important qualities do you bring to your friendships?

    5. If you are a mother, did you make any new friendships during your transition to motherhood? What did these relationships do for you? If you are not a mother, were there important transitions in your life– graduation, move to a new city, a new job, marriage– that brought new friends into your life? Why do you think we tend to form new friendships during these stages of extreme change and flux?

    6. Have you ever had a friendship breakup? Did you initiate it, or did your friend “break up” with you? How did you feel about it? Were you sad or relieved? Do you still miss your friend?

    7. Are there friends who are no longer in your life that you wish you could reconnect with? What would happen if you did, and what reasons would compel you to try again or keep your distance?

    8. Have you ever mourned the loss of a friend? What helped get you through it?

    9. How are your friendships similar to romantic relationships? How are they different? Are you more or less emotionally intimate with your girlfriends than you are with your partner?

    10. How often do you need to spend time with your friends to feel happy and balanced? What obstacles do you face that prevent you from staying in touch with your friends? How can you stay more connected and still make time for yourself, your family, and your job?

    BookClub2If you haven’t bought your copy of the book yet, you can order one right here, and send your fellow book club members over, too! In the spirit of friendship, consider buying The HerStories Project for a friend for February 14th: International Book Giving Day. We think it is a great tribute to the importance of female friendship in a woman’s life.

    Happy Reading!

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Keep reading

  • A New Year, A New Project: Our Call For Submissions

    myotherexjan2014Have you ever lost a friend? Was that loss in some ways more painful than the end of a love affair?

    In our first collection of stories of friendship by female writers, The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power, we included a section on friendship loss. The response to that part of the book has fascinated us. Stephanie and I found that we couldn’t stop thinking about this aspect of friendship: Why is it so painful for a friendship to end and why is it so hard for women to talk about?

    Again and again, other women — friends, readers, relatives, acquaintances —  have told us stories of their own friendship breakups and dissolutions.  In their stories, we’ve heard their pain, their shame, their confusion, and their continued sense of deep loss.

    Now we’re wondering if you can help us out with our next project: We want to hear your stories of friendships from any time in your life that have ended — from friends who left you  or others that you left. The friendship that ended suddenly or the one that faded gradually.

    Blank Open Book - Illustration

    We are happy to announce our call for submissions for our next anthology. This collection — tentatively titled, “My Other Ex: Women’s Stories of Friendship Burnouts, Betrayals, and Breakups”—  will include essays about a friendship that has ended. Maybe there was a reconciliation later in time, maybe there wasn’t. Maybe the ending of that bond brought enormous pain or maybe its conclusion brought great relief.

    You can also help us out by completing our survey or participating in the project in other ways, such as a private Facebook group or e-mail interviews.

    Click below to submit a story to us by February 24, 2014 about a friendship that ended. Submissions should be previously unpublished and between 1000 and 4000 words. (If you have a previously published piece that you would like to rework, feel free to ask us about it too.) Please include a brief biography and your contact information (e-mail, blog address, social media links). E-mail us at info@herstoriesproject.com with any questions! We’re so excited to start this project with all of you!


    Submit to The HerStories Project

     

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Keep reading

  • Books We Recommend for Every Friend on Your List (At Any Time of the Year)

    herstoriesxmasbooksNeed a last minute gift for a friend, sister, your mom, or a co-worker?

    Books are always my favorite gifts to give. I love trying to choose a book based on someone’s personality, interests, and book genre preferences. And I love receiving books too! To me, nothing says that someone knows me and understands me better than choosing a book that engrosses me and touches me.

    Over the past year I’ve gotten to know several books about friendship. Some are inspiring and motivating, others are beautifully written examples of memoir, and some are informative and practical.

    Here are a few to check out to give to your all of your friends, from your BFF to your co-worker.

    For your friend who loves literary memoirs…..

    She Matters: A Life in Friendships by Susanna Sonnenburg.  The book that started it all for Stephanie and me. This is the memoir of friendship stories that first inspired our reflections on our own relationships and then our HerStories blog.  According to Publisher’s Weekly, “Sonnenberg’s strikingly honest depictions of tumultuous female alliances and confessions about friendships are both moving and relatable; her depth of reflection and incandescent prose marks this exceptional memoir as a must-read to share among friends.” We were hooked from the first of these linked essays.

    For a friend who loves to read fascinating and surprising research

    Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are by Carla Flora, one of our own HerStories Project contributors.  An examination of friendship based on research evidence and women’s own stories by a journalist and former Psychology Today editor.

    For a friend who’s looking to understand how to make more friends

    Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends by another contributor, Shasta Nelson.  A guide for how to create friendships in today’s busy world by the CEO of GriendFriendCircles.Com.

    For the friend who likes funny writers

    Friendkeeping: A Field Guide to the People You Love, Hate, and Can’t Live Without by Julie Klam. Klam is a very witty writer. She tackles the topic of adult friendship with humorous vignettes. The book is light-hearted but also wise and poignant.

    For the friend who is going through a “friendship breakup

    Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend by “The Friendship Doctor” Irene Levine. In her book (and her blog), Dr. Levine talks about why friendships fall apart, how to cope with getting dumped by a friend, how to end an irreparable friendship, and how to move forward after a traumatic friendship split. She pinpoints many of the various reasons that  friendships can disintegrate and also helps shed light on when it is worthwhile to mend the relationship, or better to cut your losses and move on.

    And finally, for all the women on your list (your friends, your mom, your sisters), don’t forget about our book, The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship. Our book is a collection of friendship essays by 50 female writers who reflect upon how a friendship has shaped the trajectory of their lives. We think women of all ages could relate to the power of these bonds and to these stories.

    Which books have you given friends for the holidays, birthdays, special occasions, or just because?

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Keep reading

  • We’re Having a Party!

    It’s been quite a week for us and for all of our contributors! We are so thrilled to introduce our book to the world and to get so much support from friends, family, and from women who connect to our book’s theme of showing female friendship in all of its complexity.

    But the release week fun isn’t over yet! We would like to invite you to a party… a Twitter Party! And the honored attendees at this party are our talented and wonderful writers.

    christmasherstories

    Have you read the book and have a question for one of our contributors? Are you interested in learning more about the book? Do you want to share your own experiences of how friendship has shaped your life? Do you just want a break from the holiday madness to think about something other than shopping, toys, baked goods, and decorations? Join us!

    We’ll be giving away a copy of The HerStories Project to one lucky attendee!

    TIME: 9-10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time

    DAY: Tuesday, December 10

    Use the hashtag #herstoriesproject to follow along, and follow us at @herstoriestales. Tell your followers about the party and invite your friends!

    Our contributors have been celebrating this week too. They’ve written creative, inspiring, and emotional posts about the book and their participation in our project. Please check out some of them and get introduced to some fantastic  bloggers! You’ll quickly see why we love their writing so much.

    Galit Breen

    Jessica Vealitzek

    Lindsey Mead

    Jean Heffernan

    Dana Hemelt

    Kathy Radigan

    Samantha Brinn Merel

    Carisa Miller

    Katia Bishops

    Liz Aguerre

    Alexa Bigwarfe

    Sarah Rudell Beach

    Nicole Dash

    Nina Badzin

    Shannon Lell

    Allison Slater Tate

    Julie Burton

    Rose Townsend

    Christine Woodruff

    Shannan Ball Younger

    Anne-Marie Lindsey

    Kate Hall

    Pam Moore

    Allison Carter

    Jamie Krug

    Vicky Willenberg

    Kristi Campbell

    Julie DeNeen

    Rachel Blaufeld

    Debra Cole 

    Jessica Smock

    Stephanie Sprenger

    We hope to chat with you at our Twitter party!

    Have you bought your copy of The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship? Let us know what you think here on our blog or with a review on Amazon or on GoodReads.

     

    Enhanced by Zemanta

    Keep reading

  • Launch Day Is Here!

    We are thrilled to announce that Launch Day has finally arrived! Our paperback is now available on Amazon, and you can download our Kindle book for free for the next three days.

    To share a bit more of our journey with you– from the beginning of our friendship blog series to our book launch today– Stephanie has written a little song for you all.

    May we present– “The 12 Days of HerStories”– performed by Stephanie:

     

    So check out these powerful essays from some of the blogging world’s most engaging voices and discover new writers. Read about how friendships have shaped their lives, and we hope you connect to their stories.

    We can’t wait to hear what you think of this collection. Leave us a message here on the blog, write a review on Amazon or GoodReads, or contact our contributors.

    Is there a favorite story that spoke most strongly to you? Did you find yourself thinking about your own lifetime of friendships in a new way?

     

    Keep reading