Alexandra is an award-winning blogger and BlogHer Voice of the Year four years running. She is a published author, live storyteller with the nationally acclaimed The Moth, and co-producer of Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee. You can follow her adventures of life in a small town where she tries hard to go unnoticed on her personal blog Good Day Regular People. She is a contributor to Huffington Post, Purple Clover, MetroParent, and several other online sites. Offline, she lives in Wisconsin with her husband and three sons. But she’s mostly online on Twitter and Facebook.
“As a child, the one gift I would ask for every birthday, was a new baby doll. I have wanted to be a mother from as far back as I can remember. Pregnancy came late in my life, and when my dream of motherhood finally came true at age 35, I couldn’t have been more thrilled. But when my son was born, and my dream of a blissful mother cooing to a child in her arms was replaced by the bracing reality of my constant unexplained tears, panic, a racing heart and insomnia, no one was more bewildered — and terrified– than I was. For the first time in my life, I feared for my mental health, and I didn’t understand what was happening.”
“I did not understand how someone like me, who wanted a baby more than anything could be experiencing a total breakdown of ability and capability. As someone who was always around children, teaching children, and wanting children, how could finally having the one thing I wished for so much, culminate in despair, fear, panic, anxiety, and most of all, guilt? I spent so much time trying to understand why, looking for a reason that made sense… and in the meantime, my world quickly fell apart.”